I Bought My Own Diamond Wedding Ring

He can take me out for dinner to a fancy restaurant. He can buy me expensive presents. But he can’t buy me a diamond wedding ring. He can be a friend to listen to me. He can be my puppy to pet. He can be my accessory and fat purse when I’m out having fun. But he cannot be my husband.

You may ask, “Don’t you want to have children?” What does children have to do with men? You can always go to a sperm bank for the bad half of chromosomes or sleep with a total stranger. You can even stalk a movie star and have his child. Did you know Jack Nicolson slept with more than 3000 women all his life?

How many men do you think Marylyn Monreau slept with? Let’s say at the very outside 50. Do you think any man would miss the chance to sleep with 3000 women if they had women from all around the world jump into their laps? We choose; they don’t. So if you really want the child of a man you can have your wish even if he is a movie star. Anyway this article is not about tasteless movie stars. It is about substitution.

Women are the best lovers. Ask any male movie star. They will tell you the same. This means you can substitute men with women in your sex life. They are more sensual, they know what you like better and they are easier to please. This is substitution alternative number one. Number two is my favorite. You may guess easily that my second substitution choice is sex toys and vibrators. I was the kind of girl who promoted directly from baby dolls to vibrators.

Being an only child I was used to and always loved to play with myself. So at first I was playing with my dolls and later I found some “not so good looking toys” that were more fun to play with. I don’t really know the exact date of this transition. And boys, oh boy, they were always there to help me have fun, take me to places and so on. But every night I returned to my toys like a faithful lover.

My parents were consistently asking, “When will we see a diamond wedding ring on your finger?” So one day I just couldn’t take it anymore and went to a jewelry store to buy myself a diamond wedding ring. Now I carry that ring on my finger with pride.

They used to kidnap girls and tie them to their husbands’ house until they had a baby. When the baby came they used to release her and give her a choice. “You can return home leaving your baby or stay here.” They would mostly stay and as a reminder of their confinement days they would wear a ring. How horrible?

I would never wear something like that given to me by a man. I love my toys and vibrators. I wouldn’t change them for an impotent husband.

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